belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Randomize
