Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
