At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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