fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
