you guys were way drunker than both of me
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
