Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm eating all of the evidence.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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