Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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