Moan for me like Helen Keller
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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