Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
