the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize