i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
