you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
