I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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