WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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