shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just want nice things and good sex
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I love you. Go after that dick
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
