guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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