the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
