Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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