saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
