I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
