i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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