I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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