She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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