why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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