you turned your livingroom into a bong?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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