I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
