just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
