so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
