Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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