Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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