North Korea, Best Korea!
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
