i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
