can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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