Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize