How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize