i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
