dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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