I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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