So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
