Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
