i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
