You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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