Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize