i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
God, I missed his penis.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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