FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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