Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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