i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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