I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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