I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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