well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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