weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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