Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
