One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
so much tequila, so little girl.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
