dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I wish i was in the wii world.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
