oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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