dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
