Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
