Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize