Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
