Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
