I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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