Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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