My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
