Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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