I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
be right there i have to get my cape
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
