yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
